Adding Value
Adding Value: Relationship is the New Currency by Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
The value of a relationship cannot be overemphasized. The right relationship is gold. The right relationship is a diamond. The right relationship is priceless. One of the best things that can happen to any person is to have the right relationship. Every living creature, both animals and human beings, needs a relationship to survive.
It is obvious that no human being can survive on their own terms. Regardless of what one may have, everyone still needs people in his life. Isn’t it true that nobody is an island? The creator of the universe deemed it wise in his infinite wisdom and understanding to give each and every one of us different skills, gifts and understating. That’s why we are limited as human beings in our abilities, hence the need to reach out to humanity for support.
To understand the currency in a relationship, you have to tap into it. Let me share a secret with you; if you have ever tried anything in life and it didn’t work out well, try sharing your idea with a group of progressive minds. Let me ask you; have you ever wondered why despite the amount of wealth a man/woman may have, they still need human beings. This is because money can get you a comedian, but it can’t give you peace of mind. The same principle is applicable to politicians who know that they need the support of electorate to win elections. Even married or divorced couples know that the right relationship is critical to their success. I can go on and on, but as a sage may say, a word is enough for the wise.
The value of a relationship is priceless. When you cultivate the right relationship, you can be sure of living a blissful life. Just to reinforce the importance of having the right relationship; did you know you can get to any position in life faster when you have the right relationship? Did you know you can get a job, business opportunity, position, etc. faster when you have the right relationship than when you have the right degree, business plan, and experience? This is because the right relationship trumps other variable factors, especially when you have the basic qualifications and requirements. Did you know that when a critical decision that will affect you is been discussed, you won’t be around? That’s why who likes you matters, but more importantly, It’s always good to know how to relate with people because you never can tell where the pendulum might shift.
Relationships, however, go beyond just meeting people at social events, schools, online, work environments and public places. Meeting people in all these places is good, but the challenge most people have is managing these relationships. Relationship is like communication. The ability to communicate the right words to a friend, supervisor, colleague, supervisor, partner, stranger, parent, mentor, mentee, business partner, child, and even an enemy is a skill that needs to be understudied.
As human beings, sometimes due to anger, ego, and emotions, we utter the right words at the wrong places to the wrong person at the wrong time. But the ability to speak the right words at the right time can be a game-changer. The major challenge most people have is how to manage a relationship. For a relationship to stand the test of time, you need to nurture it. This is how you build a friendship. When you meet somebody for the first time, resist rushing them and telling them your life story, especially when the person is a very resourceful person. Take your time to study the person and give it time to grow. Desist from telling them your life problem. Nobody wants to know your problem because they are dealing with their own problem. If they want to know, they will engage you.
If the person is a resourceful person, do your basic research and take time to know what they like, the causes they are passionate about, the work they have done, and their worldview to life. When you reach out to them, let them know how you have understudied their work and then find a way to share your ideas with them and communicate in such a way they won’t be uncomfortable replying.
Nurturing a relationship is a skill that ought to be cultivated. To do this you must have a good personal intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship. Nurturing a relationship entails knowing the three categories of lifestyle: (Public, Private and Secret). Your public life is the lifestyle you exhibit for the general public to see. I call it the image perception lifestyle. This is the life you show the world and what you want the world to know about. Your private life is the life only your close family members and friends know, but your secret life is the life which only you know. So, when you meet somebody for the first time, know how to relate with the person with the aforementioned lifestyles.
For you to succeed in life, you need the right partnership in marriage, business and academics; they are very vital to your success. If you are involved in any form of relationship, business or academic pursuit, you must be able to differentiate between who is a companion and who is a compatriot. Companionship goes with emotional relationship, but compatriot goes with business and growth. However, you can convert your companion to your compatriot to achieve your goal. In that case, your spouse can serve as an accountability partner for you.
In conclusion, I will need you to take stock of your life and examine the people you have in your life and the relationship you are building. While some people may relate with you for what they will benefit from you, others will invest in a relationship selflessly for posterity.
Question: Are you building a relationship that can last six months or are you building a relationship that can metamorphose into a forest?
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Tribute: Celebrating My Mentors
By Abdulakeem Sodeeq Sulyman
Waiters believe the right time will come for them to start working on their dreams; but achievers believe in the opportunities every time – positive or negative – posed to them to actualize their dreams” – Abdulakeem Sodeeq Sulyman
Today is one of the most important days of my life because in a few hours, I will be officially admitted into the league of the recipients of the Presidential Lifetime Award. Being a recipient of the prestigious award is, to me, as a devoted Christian, is nothing short of the grace of the Most High God, who has been my ultimate guardian and pillar of support and encouragement. I will alway glorify His holy name!
But beyond that, I wouldn’t have attained this peak of greatness without the influence of my parents, family members, friends, mentors, acquaintances and most importantly, my doubters. Your respective roles in nurturing me for the greatness I was destined to achieve really shaped my life’s trajectory by instilling the right values in me and energizing me in pursuing my aspirations and dreams.
To start with the order of the people I mentioned earlier, I owe everything I become in life to my parents because they were the embodiments of my standards. I cannot thank my parents enough for their sacrifices for me and my brothers and sisters. My parents’ guidance and support were indelible! Comparing my humble backgrounds with where I am today deepens my affections and admiration for my parents. Their teachings and conduct affirmed the old-time principle that “In the race of life, you need to start from somewhere in order to get to where you want to be.”
I think I would be an ingrate if I failed to acknowledge the roles of family members on my upbringing because these are people who went outside their comfort zones to make life bearable for us – my brothers, sisters and me – when the time was tough. Our family members stood by us during the time life posed the daunting challenges of coping with our father’s and mother’s demises. Today is one of the days yourDear Destiny Friends, respective deeds will affirm to you that the greatest investment in life is the one made on humanity.
Also significant to my greatness are the roles of my friends. Overtime, I have lost direction in life and made damning mistakes – like all other humans. However, I also have the rare opportunity of getting my life back on track because I am surrounded by friends who know that I have purposes to accomplish, believe in me and support me to birth my purposes. During the course of my life, I have been privileged to meet and connect with wonderful people, who all proven to me that I am bound to change the course of humanity if I don’t give up on myself.
At every point in our life, we are bound to come across people who will make us better and prepare us for the nitty-gritty of the possibilities we are meant to create with our lives. These people, without being equivocal, are our mentors. In my own life, I owe these people more than the world because of the roles they played in grooming me for the world that mirrors the purposes God wants to fulfill. My mentors, at every corner of the world, gave birth to the Henry Ukazu you all know today.
Since I was mentored by some people to become the version of myself, what would be my contributions towards sustaining the chain of mentorship? Answering this question birthed in me the necessity of being a guiding light to the people our paths crossed. Consciously or unconsciously, I have gained more from the people who believed they have much to learn from me. You may be tempted to ask how I gained from my prospective learners. I gained from them because I know that their commitment to learn from me places more responsibility on me to learn more, so that I will not disappoint them.
No man ever attained the peak of his aspirations by compliments alone. To do great things, you must be talked out of the way by doubters or challengers. But if you don’t let their words or deeds deter you, you will eventually prove them wrong! It is normal for people to write you off; it is normal for people to take advantage of you and it is normal to feel you don’t have anything to offer. I don’t know what your story is, but all I can say is appreciate the trials, challenges and disappointments that come with achieving greatness.
This was exactly my storyline. I cannot count the number of times I was discouraged from doing what I believed. But because I know I am working on purpose, my energy is always refilled anytime I am told something cannot be done by me. This principle is highly working for my turnarounds. If you want me to break boundaries, tell me I can’t. Your doubts will challenge me to see possibilities and make them happen.
That has been the secret of my leadership as I learned from Peter Drucker, the famous management expert, that “Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to higher sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.” I am here today because I saw beyond the place of my birth and didn’t allow any obstacle to limit me.
Thank you all for being parts of my success!
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: The Blessings of Giving by Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
As human beings, life offers us several blessings. The blessings can be spiritual, physical, financial, academic, marital, vocational, professional, and even personal which can be attributed to grace.
Just like one man’s food is another man’s poison, blessings mean several things to different people. Some of us desire the blessings of parents which I humbly think is the highest form of blessings apart from the blessings of God. While someone might be praying and wishing for the blessing of a life partner, some other persons are praying for the blessings of the fruit of the womb, destiny helpers or even dream job.
When we talk of giving, it’s not limited to financial blessings. It’s only myopic minds who judge or see people who give money as good people. We should desist from the mindset of seeing people who give money as good people. Some great minds might give you their time to mentor you, train you, or give you opportunities that will shape your life.
Giving shows where our heart and love resides. Different things appeal to different people. Your goal is to know what works for the person. Your ability to pay attention is critical to knowing someone. For instance, when you listen to how people spend their time and money, you will know how their mind works. The truth about life is that one can love without giving. If anyone is not giving you, he is giving to someone or to another cause.
Do you know what makes one happy? Yes, it can help to battle depression. Some people derive satisfaction when they give. Do you know that giving can be contagious? Yes, this principle is applicable when one pays it forward.When people experience a generous kindness, they are more apt to treat others with the same sort of benevolence.
When it comes to giving, what’s important is the motive or intention. There are several reasons why most people give money, some give money for charitable purpose, some give because the law of God admonishes us to give, some give just to encourage employees or to inspire people, some give because they have the feeling or mindset the person they give might give them tomorrow or the children of the receiver will reciprocate in the nearest future, or because they want to sow presence so that their benefactor can notice them. Some people even give because it gives them joy, and this is where I belong. As a matter of fact, one of my weak points is that I can be too kind to a fault. The list is literally endless.
Giving is relative. Some people might give their money, some give their time which can be priceless, some might give loyalty, others might give expertise on a subject matter. What is important is to know the value of the blessings you are receiving because in the grand scheme of things, none is more important than the other, it all depends on the needs at the said time. For instance, if someone is hungry, the best gift you can give the person is food or money to buy food. The person might not necessarily need words of consolation, neither does he need academic tutor nor spiritual teachings.
According to Dr. Yomi Garnet, a celebrated author, “one thing is certain in life, there are hidden blessings that come when one gives genuinely. It’s sad to note that we live in a world where some people find it hard to give.
In practical terms, prosperity is probably in two forms: There is survival prosperity, and there is Abrahamovic abundance. The way to proceed from the first to the second simply to become a channel of blessings for others. We do this by doing three things.: Giving to the kingdom of God, giving to the poor within His Kingdom; giving to the poor outside his kingdom.
The blessing of giving is priceless. Do you know the givers hand is always on top. I have always counseled my friends who complain when they give to put themselves in the position of the person receiving. Be happy you are in the position to give as opposed to receive. I don’t really think people love to beg even though some people have little or no shame when it comes to begging.
When it comes to giving and receiving, what’s important is to focus on the needs or desires of the giver in order to receive. For instance, if you want to receive funds from a fortune 500 company, when you are working on your proposal, it must align to their needs or interest. Several things motivate several people, so your ability to know what works for each person might be the icing on a cake.
It’s just like an employee who is looking to work in a multinational national company or any great company of interest, what the hiring managers might be concerned is to know how the employee is a perfect for the position, and this might entail looking at the skills, qualifications or interest which the intending employee will show he has given time, money and resources to show he’s capable, competent in addition to be being consistent on how his works. While the potential employee will have to show reasons why he should be hired, and all these will point to one thing, giving.
In conclusion, if you desire anything in life, consider giving it your time, whether it involves setting up a business, beginning a relationship, studying a course, serving God, or building your body; consider giving it your time and resources, and trust me, the blessings will come back to you. That’s the blessings of giving.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
Adding Value
Adding Value: Appreciate Your Challenges by Henry Ukazu
Dear Destiny Friends,
Human beings are bound to face challenges whether they like it or not. The challenges of life are inevitable no matter how one tries to avoid them. According to Bill Cosby, “the only way to avoid criticisms is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing”. This is impossible because they will surely talk about you whether you talk or not. This is simply how the challenges of life work. You can’t shy away from problems. In fact, the only time we stop facing challenges is when we are dead.
Just to let you know how one can’t shy away from problems in life; imagine one driving a car, and he is extremely careful, no matter how careful he might be, he can’t control the steering of another car behind or in front of him. The best he can do is to manage his car to minimize potential danger.
In the same way, problems and challenges will surely locate anyone no matter how careful they are on issues of life.
Challenges come in different forms; some of them are financial challenges, academic challenges, emotional challenges, health challenges, marital challenges, professional challenges, spiritual challenges and personal challenges. The challenges of life are unlimited, and managing these challenges is what makes us rational and informed beings. The way these challenges are managed can either mar or make the individual.
Overcoming these challenges are not as easy as one may think. This is where trusted friends, advisors, and mentors, who can assist in navigating through these challenges come to play. These people must be people who have our interest at heart, but more importantly, they should be people who are knowledgeable and experienced in such cases or subject matter. This is because a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other people’s mistakes.
In relating with trusted people, it’s advisable for one to be vulnerable. This can be challenging, but then it’s the risk one must take to get assistance. Vulnerability helps one to connect with people especially when one is relating with a matured mind with emotional intelligence.
Regardless of how one’s challenges are, challenges are not bad per se, there are certain good things that come with challenges. As a matter of fact, challenges help to sharpen one very well, it gives one a new perspective to life, help learn new lessons, creates opportunity, strengthens and makes one stronger.
As human beings, we experience adversaries of some kind which can lead to downfall. These falls can be devastating, and can make one feel traumatized. However, we should view these falls with gratitude rather than dismay. This is because of the inherent lessons contained in them. Isn’t it true that our disappointment sometimes can lead to our appointments, just like our trials can lead to our triumphs and our pains can metamorphose to our gains? If only we can maximize the inherent messages and lessons they contain.
To show you how you can benefit from your challenges and pains, sometimes, things will go bad for things to happen just like gold and oil will have to be refined and processed to be resourceful. In the same vein, milk goes bad to become cheese, wheat and corn go bad to become whiskey, gracie juice ferments to become wine, garbage goes rotten and becomes compost.
So, in the grand scheme of things, sometimes in life, things did not go wrong so you could get anxious, depressed, or suicidal. They went bad because it is part of the process of progress. Sometimes, the best comes after the worst. You will get better if you don’t get bitter. In some cases, things can go bad due to the mistakes and choices one made, and as you may know, actions have corresponding consequences.
In conclusion, I don’t know what may have gone wrong in your life; I don’t know the mistakes you may have made, neither do I know the challenges you may have experienced, but the good news I have for you is to stay strong, appreciate the challenges and the associated lessons it brought your way, while believing in God to help you to overcome. This is because sometimes in life, the creator of heaven and earth brings these challenges to us for reasons best known to Him. So when you can’t change it, kindly appreciate it with love because at the end of the day you will smile cheerfully.
Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your and Unleash Your Destiny . He can be reached via info@gloemi.com
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