Dear Destiny Friends,

According to Mark Twain, “the two most important days in your Life is the day you were born and the day you found out why.” Why is this important? One of the best questions any rational and progressive mind must endeavor to answer before he leaves this sinful world is discovering the purpose of his existence. Whether one is in the academic space, relationship/marriage, entertainment, sports, business, political or otherwise, they must understand the basics and foundations, otherwise they might be just leaning on the wrong ladder of success.

In understanding defective success, let’s use a practical case of someone who is successful in his career, but failed in managing his family due to focusing more time on his career. Also, let’s see a case of an entrepreneur who was busy chasing contracts and money at the detriment of his sleep, and when he finally gets the money, his health has deteriorated.

Also, imagine a student who is wired to study Political Science or Philosophy in college, but somehow found himself studying Law due to the advice and influence of mentors or counselors, who felt he could do well in that area. The student might do well as a lawyer, but the question remains if he would be fulfilled as a man?

Furthermore, a lady might want to marry a man just because he has access to money as opposed to the values the man represents. The lady might end up having the man, but lacking the most important part of marital life, which is peace of mind and fulfilment.

The list is literally endless, but the moral of the question is, someone might get to the peak of his career, have access to money and the good things of life, but still misses a fundamental aspect of life-fulfilment.

What therefore, is defective success? Defective success is achieving a goal or assignment you are not sent for, or leaning on the wrong side of the wall. Not how far you have come, but how far you should have gone.

Defective success is simply leaning on the wrong ladder of success. Imagine leaning on the wrong ladder to climb up a position and when you get to your destination, you now discover you were leaning on the wrong ladder, which literally means, though you reached the peak, however, the gains and blessings would have been much higher if that’s the purpose you have been destined to do. What most people fail to understand is that one can be successful at something they are not called to do, and that’s defective success.

But how does defective success works? There is a story told by one of my mentors, Sir Fela Durutoye, a leadership expert, on how an Executive Director of a bank fell victim to defective success. According to him, this man participated in one of his training sessions and after the training, the man told him he had made him lose his job. Mr. Fela asked, how? He responded that after listening to him, he discovered he was meant to be a leadership consultant as opposed to a bank executive. The interesting thing about this bank executive was that, when he approached the bank to inform them of his desire to resign and become a leadership consultant, not only did his bank hire him to train their staff, but they also paid him twice his salary as Executive Director in the bank.  The moral of this story is that, when you are doing what you are supposed to, the universe will locate you. Again, when you are working on purpose, your reward will be priceless.

Just to illustrate this point. Sometimes, hardship can make one relocate to another country for greener pastures, thinking that’s the best thing to do, however, only to find out, his purpose was not that in that country. The person might be living, but the impact he’s supposed to make in the world will not be manifested in the lives of people he was called to serve. Moral: May we not lose the impact we are created for just because of comfort or temporary setback.

Most people don’t understand how defective success works. They just think when they have made money, have influence and more, they have arrived, however, they fail to understand that in life, there’s more to money.

As you crave for success, you must train your mind and body to have the right value system, the right mindset, the right belief system, and your aspiration and goals must be the one you set for yourself and not the one anyone sets for you.

Do you know your success is tied to the reason you are created? Success can also be tied to the resources you are given. This is because you can’t separate success from purpose.

Let me elaborate, your purpose was made in Heaven and your assignment is to fulfil the assignment on earth. So, it is the one who sends you on an assignment that will determine the rubric of the success. If in your calculated wisdom, you have attained success, but your success is not in line with the definition of success by your mentor or manager, that’s defective success.

The question now becomes how does one avoid being a victim of defective success? The first step is to live a life of purpose.

Myles Munroe, an evangelist, was right when he stated, “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable’. Every person was created for a reason. We are all wired in a certain way to accomplish a particular purpose.

Do you know at the end of life, we will give account of all we have been given at creation. Now imagine, if you are giving your report and you derail from the purpose, assignment, and problem you have been commissioned with the resources you were given at creation.

To avoid the pains of defective success, here are three things you should focus on. 1. One must focus on working and building on their talent. You are expected to use your talent to fulfil your divine purpose. 2. Your personality: This is what gives you comfort in the place of your purpose. When your purpose is in alignment with your talent, you won’t experience stress, rather you will experience a little stretch. Third and most important passion: Passion is inbuilt, when you are passionate about a cause, your pain, detractors, and challenges will serve as inspiration and distractions because you have a burning desire to accomplish something that is built in you which you are created to do. But when you are not working on purpose, you won’t experience strength, peace of mind and fulfilment.

Let me share a little bit of personal experience with you. Despite studying Taxation Law in New York Law School, I wasn’t passionate about the major. I remember when I was offered a decent salary by the New York City Department of Finance to begin my career as a Tax Specialist, I didn’t take the offer because I wasn’t passionate about the industry. I ended up settling for a Case Manager position, which offered me half of the pay I got for taxation.

The interesting thing was that I got joy, fulfilment, and most importantly, it aligned with my passion for service for humanity.  Moral: When you are working on purpose, you’ll control money as opposed to being a slave to money. When you are passionate about a cause, you will be equipped with the talent to solve any challenge that may arise.

It’s instructive to note that when passion finds assignment, fulfillment is met, but when passion is lacking, it can lead to frustration. Be advised, even when you are working on purpose and a cause you are passionate about, you are bound to experience some level of frustration, but this frustration might not be the same as when you are doing what you are not created to do, rather it will serve as an alarm clock saying, what you are doing is not what you are created to do. Every time you are working on defective success, you won’t get fulfillment and a little distraction can lead to frustration.

When you are working on purpose and you experience frustration, you’ll have a certain level of peace despite the pain because somehow, you are working on purpose.

It’s sad to note that many people are not working where they are supposed to work, while some are working on a job they are not supposed to work.

Question: How do I find my purpose to avoid defective success?

If purpose is the reason for your existence, your best bet is to ask the manufacturer if you have the manual of any product. This is because you are not an accident. You are created and equipped on purpose to solve a problem. Your purpose was made in heaven and it’s eternal, but your assignment is time bound which must be fulfilled on earth.

For instance, your purpose cannot be changed, but your assignment varies. For instance, your purpose of going to school from primary school to university never changes, because it’s centered on acquiring education, but your assignment may change because your assignment at each stage from primary one to university will change as your progress.

Again, when your assignment changes, it’s still working on the grand scheme of things. This is why when you experience challenges, it’s part of the trials and dynamics to position and strengthen you to the place you are supposed to be. Moral:  Don’t get distracted. Stay focused.

Connect with your purpose by finding your assignment. Anytime you follow the voice of the one who sent you, he will lead you to the next assignment.

When you are working on purpose, everything you need to succeed will be given to you at your place of assignment by the creator and manufacturer. Therefore, you must connect with your purpose to fulfil your purpose. According to Fela Durutoye, the future is everything you can be, but you are yet to become, the future is everything you can possess or achieve but you are yet to achieve or possess it. Your task is to deliver the future, but that will only come when you are working on purpose.

In conclusion, you must give your time, energy, money and resources to do what you are created to do. You were given everything from eternity to ensure you succeed, but you will only succeed when you are living or working on purpose.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

Many years ago, I listened to a powerful sermon by Reverend Fr. Ejike Mbaka titled Wicked Generation. According to him, we live in a wicked generation. That sermon was not only powerful, but also thought-provoking, and enlightening.

Howerver, after listening to that sermon, I began to have trust issues with people because it made me believe human beings can be deceitful, unreasonable, self-centered, selfish, dishonest and ungrateful.

The teaching created in me a deep awareness about the fragility of human beings. I also learned from the teaching that being oneself and doing good regardless of how bad human beings can be is the ultimate. Another simple message, which resonated from the teaching stated that people can fail you regardless of how many times you have come through for them.

Let me elaborate more with the words of Mother Theresa: “People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered; Forgive them anyway.

“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

“If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

“If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

“What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

“If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

“The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

“Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

“You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway”.

If you look at the words of Mother Theresa, you will observe that we live in an unfair society where most people are filled with ingratitude and wickedness. Despite how good you are, some people will still act like distractors and conspire to bring you down simply because you are successful. This conspiracy comes in various ways and forms.

In the journey of life, friends, family members, associates/colleagues, partners, supposed benefactors, mentors, mentees and others can conspire to make you succeed as well as bring you down. Even government machineries can enact policies which can affect your business either positively or negatively.

But the irony of life is that while they are trying to hurt you, they won’t know they are working according to the grand scheme of things. According to Joel Osteen, it’s a setup for success. In the same way, sometimes, what we think we are doing right can lead to our demise. For instance, someone might relocate to another country thinking it’s a better plan, but it might lead to misfortunes. Your focus should be to know the will of God in your life.

Also, as a young person, you might think someone is meant for you because they look good, and have prospects, but they are not meant for you. In fact, they might even lead you to your doom. These are parts of the challenges and vicissitudes of life.

Again sometimes, your problems, challenges, setbacks, misfortunes, and pains can be the turning point in your life. That’s why it’s always important to think out of the box whenever you experience pain because your disappointments can be a blessing.

Though our destinies are in our hands, we must also know that luck exists, and what will be will be, all things being equal.

Much as we have the choice to do or not to do certain things that can influence our life, we must take cognizance of the God factor in the scheme of things. No matter the direction one is moving, once the creator of the universe steps in, He can influence a definite turnaround to your benefit, and made things work for good for you along the line your life is destined to be.

God can turn things around through diverse means including even causing an accident, where the person, who will rescue you, attend to tou will eventually be your life partner, or tangible benefactor. This is an example of a conspiracy of success.

Furthermore, you might be in a job you don’t like, or living in a building, environment, or apartment you don’t like; the universe can cause a scene to happen, and you will be surprised to know how the odds will not only line up for you, but systematically add up for you.

Did you know the spiritual controls the physical? Before anything happens physically, it has already happened spiritually. It’s been said that human beings normally die in the spiritual reign before they die physically. I don’t know how true that statement is, but I do know that there are spiritual forces and elements operating on the planet.

These forces can also conspire to work against one if they are not spiritually discerning.

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, “Always look for the good in every situation. Develop the mindset that every setback is part of a great plan. A conspiracy if you like, that is moving you toward the success that is inevitably yours. In other words, become an inverse optimist. This means that every turn the whole world is in a conspiracy to do you good.”

To understand the above statement, one must have a positive mindset. One must be able to think out of the box, and one must believe disappointments, and pains can be turned into pleasure.

This is how the conspiracy of success works; you might have a product or service which adds value to humanity, and you might be wondering how to impact globally. Did you know the universe can use social media to announce you or connect you to your destiny helper. A friend can locate you, recommend or refer you; a company might even pick up your work, or it might even go viral. In such situations, the universe can conspire with your destiny to align for you.

Let me share a practical story about how the universe conspired to work for me. In 2017, I resigned from my job as a Case Manager to see my late grandmother, who was always appearing to me in my dream. That decision wasn’t a popular one with my family members and friends because they imagined how I would survive upon arrival from Nigeria.

The interesting thing was that there was no set plan on the ground to secure a job, but my strength lies more in my belief system. The joy of seeing my late grandmother was more fulfilling to me than my job or anything at the time.

One fateful day,  I was on the street of New York marketing my book after I returned. It was then I met a young man who works with a television organization; I shared my work, and vision for the youths with him, and he was impressed, and gave me his number.

Guess what, three years later, when President Trump issued a Travel Ban against Nigeria, I was interviewed by the New York Times and these young people read my interview and reached out to me to interview me. The rest they say is history.

The moral here is that the universe used President Trump to put me in the spotlight, but more importantly, if not for my late grandmother, I wouldn’t have been on the streets of New York because I would have been at work on that fateful day.

In conclusion, don’t be hard on yourself when things don’t add up for you, and don’t be too sure you are on the right track because on both cases, the universe can spring up a surprise, rather always seek the face of the creator of the universe to direct your path, in addition to directing and blessing the works of your hands.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

Dear Destiny Friends,

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” – Martin Luther King Jnr.

The journey of a thousand miles, it has variously been said, begins with a step; the all important first step. Therefore, when the first step is taken, and the journey through life begins, we will encounter many roads and paths, some we wished we never passed, some we wished we passed, and some we experience with mixed feelings with special emphasis to matters like marriage. The moral here is that the challenges and experiences of life offer us many options. But one thing is certain, we took a step from the beginning, whether it turned out negative or positive is another issue.

For every step taken, there are no basis for regrets knowing that one was not blind or “fooled” into taking them. We are technically and subconsciously aware of the first step, which invariably affects the outcome of our life.

The importance of the first step cannot be overemphasized, however. The first step affects every area of life. This is because there’s nothing one does on earth that does not involve a first step.

The first step, for all intent and purpose, creates awareness. According to Nathaniel Branden, “the first step toward change is awareness”. When you discover there’s a lacuna which needs to be filled, the onus will be on you to fix it. The second step is acceptance. It is however, very unfortunate, that many people don’t accept the realities of life.

The late famous American author, Zig Ziglar, made us understand that the “first step in solving a problem is to recognize that it does exist”. When you have a problem, for example, a medical or emotional problem, Dean Ornish made us understand that “awareness is the first step in healing”.

If you have the desire of becoming a professor, you must first begin by taking the entrance examination as a pupil/student and then walk through the ranks. As a man, if you see a lady you would like to marry, the first step will be to get her attention and that entails speaking to and with her. If you have a desire to be a President, Governor, Chief Executive Officer, Captain of industry among others, you must begin by doing the needful. A once popular Nigerian television sitcom, Basi and Company, always reminds viewers through its main character, Basi, that ‘to be a millionaire, think like a millionaire’.

Most people, unfortunately, put the cart before the horse, and fail to stock in deciding if they have the expertise, knowledge, and technical know-how to successfully execute a particular project.

There’s no major success which did not begin with the first step. Notwithstanding, the first step comes with its own risks and opportunities. It can either go well or otherwise, depending on how it’s executed.

It’s instructive to note that no reasonable man will begin a journey he has not weighed the options. The first step in life can be said to be the most important step in every adventure. It takes courage to take the first step. According to Martin Luther King Jnr, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

On a personal note, I have taken many first steps which changed my perspective and understanding of life, both in business, academic, marriage, social, personal, professional, and spiritual life. I can remember that one of my first major first steps in life was when I applied to be the Public Relations Officer of the Nigerian Lawyers Association while I was a student in New York Law school.

In all sincerity and honesty, I wasn’t prepared for the job’s responsibilities because the culture was quite different from what I was exposed to in Nigeria. I also had difficulty in writing well, and that strained my relationship with my President and Vice President.

Despite taking the risk of contesting for the position, that was one of the best things that happened to me, because it exposed and connected me to lots of opportunities and resourceful people, who have continually served as strong allies.

If you have a vision or dream, the best thing that can happen to you is to take the first step. You may not have everything or see everything, but if you feel it’s right,  and believe in it, trust me, it will work out good. All you need is the belief factor. The universe, without an iota of doubt, always conspire to help every progressive mind working on purpose. It’s one thing to have a dream and it’s another to implement it with the right actions.

Sometimes however, even when we have a belief system, and faith in ourselves and our project, we can still experience setbacks, betrayal, and challenges. Sometimes, we are tempted to, and even question our creator, mentor, parent, teacher and friend for leaving us on the road when the odds don’t add up.

Whenever you experience such a feeling, please be strong and don’t give up. It’s part of the process leading you to the right place.

Actions are the engine that drives your productivity. Without actions nothing happens, or worse, things that you have no control over will happen taking you to no place. According to Maurer, Director of Behavioral Sciences at University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) Medical Center in Santa Monica, the challenge of taking the first step has to do with fear.

Before you take the first step, trust your intuition, trust your creator, believe in yourself, believe in your project and most importantly, be courageous.

In conclusion, What’s that project you have in mind, take the first step, and watch your intended positive change come to life. Remember, according to Chauncey Depew. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Whatever be the case, one can never be successful in an chosen endeavor if the all-important first step is not taken.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com