Adding Value: Crave the Circle of Your Betters by Henry Ukazu

Dear Destiny Friends,

A credible relationship is a valuable currency. A great relationship is priceless. The relationship is even more monumental, when it is contracted with persons much better in status, intelligence, reach and spread, and capabilities than one. Several people come into an individual’s life for several reasons; some are parasitic, while a great many others are symbiotic. However, many people still do not understand the value of having a valuable relationship, in other words, a relationship with someone better than ‘you’.

To succeed in the journey of life, one needs to understand who they are, and know what they want. It’s one thing to know who you are, and another thing to know what you want. Some people know who they are yet unable to decipher what they actually want, while some others know what they want, but lack the ability to know who they are. Let me explain.

If you know who you are, it will be easier to see what you want from someone. For instance, the first thing a single man/lady, who is interested in marriage should figure out is who they are (their temperament, strength, weakness, personality, values, and interest). The ability to know these fundamental information will help to figure out who will complement them.

In another scenario, some people know what they want, but don’t really know who they are. This is why I strongly advocate self-discovery training for anyone interested in starting a business or having a life partner.

I can’t underemphasize the importance of associating with people better than you. On a personal note, my most defining moment in the journey of life and business is relationship. Not only is this relationship defining and resourceful, it is valuable and priceless because I relate closely with people better and more resourceful than me.

A wise man once stated that ‘if I have attained success, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants’. According to the sage, great men have great habits, they carefully select their partners, a step into their life will make a difference in your own life, absorb their books, listen to their tapes and you will be great like them. As a cultured Nigerian man, we have a saying that ‘when a child washes his hands, he will dine with elders’.

One might be wondering the reasoning behind all these parables. Well, the answer is not far-fetched; it’s all about associating with people better than you, and this is all about relationships. If you don’t have a great relationship with people, it will be hard for them to relate closely with you. Relationship is a skill that needs to be nurtured.

One of the secrets of the little success and impact I have made is the people in my life. I have great and resourceful mentors, who have really made great impacts in life. Based on my personal experience with them, they have introduced me to great minds and have given me access and opportunities money and hard work can’t buy. There are heights I know I may never have attain if not because of God and human relationship.

Did you know that just like mercy works with grace, favor works with relationships. Did you know that just like where your prayers cannot reach, your sacrifice can get you there. In the same vein, where your education can’t get you, your relationship will get you there.

It’s unfortunate that many people don’t know the importance of associating with people better than them. You might be brilliant, sophisticated, confident, and maybe even successful, but I can guarantee you that there’s something you will need because nobody knows or has it all. The truth of the matter is that you can’t be shorter and taller than everyone at the same time. So, no matter how brilliant, sophisticated, confident or even successful one may appear to be, there are people who are more brilliant, more sophisticated, more confident and even more successful than yhem, so be humble just as your heavenly father is humble.

In another way, even when people may not be as smart and confident as you are, the irony of life is that someone somewhere is wishing they were half blessed are you are. Do you see the irony of life? Regardless of where you may belong between these two extremes, resolve today to start associating with those who are better than you. If, for instance, you are afflicted with self-doubt, avoid Brother Thomas, instead visit and cultivate Father Abraham, the grand patriarch of the faith family. If you are a stingy person, begin to associate with a generous mind.

Association in life really matters if they are healthy and valuable, but when it begins to affect your mental health, please avoid it because it is what you feed your mind on that it will digest and send to the universe.

In conclusion, be intentional in cultivating healthy relationships because a large chunk of what happens in your life will be shaped by the people you allowed into it.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com