By Babatunde Jose
The ideal mother understands her role as someone who has the most important position in educating children and feeding them with love and sentiment and teaching them the meanings of goodness, benevolence, life and the afterlife. She undertakes her responsibility well and does not lose her patience or give up her task, which is like the task of the prophets and apostles. She repels evil with that which is best and prefers the comfort of her husband and children to her own ease and comfort when there is a conflict between comforts. The ideal mother always feels satisfied and content.
She distributes her smiles of sincerity, satisfaction, and hope of success and progress among all members of her family. She looks forward to the reward of the afterlife, pleasure of Allah, and the bliss of Paradise, which Allah has put under her feet if she devotes her intentions sincerely to Allah in this life.
You shall find heedless wives, bad women, and deviate girls and they abound in our modern society; egbe kiloko ose. It has been mentioned in traditions that wealth and women are the most dangerous weapons of the Satan in seducing man and deviating him from truth, justice, and goodness and removing him from the moral paradise of this life and from the real Paradise in the Hereafter.
History has proved that woman has corrupted and still corrupts whatever is around her if she is corrupted. Even sincere believers have been felled by corruptive women if they became heedless for a moment. Thus, responsibility is very heavy for a good mother, especially in bringing up her children. Therefore, Islam has made her position higher than the position of a good father. The Prophet has ordered people to be kind to their mother three times more than to their father. Thus, we find that a faithful woman and ideal mother is an important factor of construction and happiness in life.
O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single Person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): For Allah ever watches over you. (Quran, 4:1)
What is the philosophy of motherhood? What is the relation of woman to society with both positive and negative aspects? Can motherhood be one of the factors that contribute to building a good and faithful nation that can resist corruption and tyranny?
Muhammad Taqi al-Mudarrisi say in one of his lectures, ‘If you want a good society, you have to look for a good mother, because if you find society sinking under the pressures of corruption and loss, you should know well that all these evils shall reach mothers. A mother is not only a school, but she is also the life, origin, and essence of man…. In order to treat the problem from its roots, you have to turn to the mother and try to treat the problems that the mother suffers from, and then, you will know the reasons behind the deviation of society. Looking for another place to cure the social diseases will be nothing save a temporary tranquilizer that soon disappears and then the pains of the diseases will come back again.’
About the philosophy of motherhood and the qualities of an ideal mother, he says, the greatest responsibility that man undertakes in this life is the good upbringing of his children. A mother who understands this responsibility knows well that all the affairs of this life are minor before her responsibility for her children…A woman does not become a good mother except when she becomes a good wife.
The best speech is that of Allah when He says:
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam.” (Quran 46:15).
Today, we remember an ideal mother, the matriarch of the Jose family, Alhaja Hulaimot Atinuke Jose, who left this sinful world exactly ten years today. An ideal mother, who will always live in our minds. May Allah continue to allow her a place in the ‘perfumed garden’ called Janatul Firdaus. Inna Lillah wa ina illehi rajiun.
Barka Juma’at and Ramadan Kareem.