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Adding Value: Take Responsibility of Your Life by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Being responsible is one of the attributes of a reasonable rational being. Nobody wants to associate with an irresponsible man or lady. In fact, once you are perceived as an irresponsible person, you’ll lose not only credibility but also opportunities. It is instructive to note that you are the architect of your life. According to the Book of life, your joy is your joy, your sorrow is your sorrow, no one can share it with you.

Taking responsibility for your life is understanding that you are fully in charge of your own destiny through your own decisions. Taking responsibility for your life means that you acknowledge that no one has the power to determine how your life turns out – not your friends, not your parents, not even your spouse.

In the journey of life, we are always instructed to take care of our life. As a student, you are advised to take your academics very serious, as a man business man or woman, you are expected to make prudent decisions, as a Christian or Muslim, you are expected to be of sound moral character in order to not derail from the teachings of Christ or Allah.

When you take responsibility for your life, you are simply taking ownership of whatever concerns you. You don’t wait for anyone to create an opportunity for you, rather you create the opportunity yourself. Whether you fail or succeed, it up to you. Most time, we blame other people for the misfortune that come our way. In as much as you may reach out to cerebral minds to advise or suggest their kind opinions to you, it’s imperative to you know that the buck stops with you.

If you really want to get any work done, you’ll create the pathway. Isn’t it true that the whole world sets apart for the man who knows where he’s going? You may be experiencing many challenges in your personal life, marriage, professional work, academic, or business. In order to reset the button, you must take charge.

Let’s share some practical ways of how you can take responsibility for your life.

Marriage:

Marriage is a sacred institution for mature minds. In law, before you go into marriage, you must be of age and capacity. Capacity here means maturity. If you are not fully prepared for marriage, you are bound to experience challenges when you get married, Therefore, it is highly advisable for you to take care of your financial life by having a stable source of income nor matter how little it is, in that way, it will help in planning. You’ll only enjoy your marriage when you decide the buck stops

Another area you need to fix is emotional life and this has to do with your mental state of mind. When you are not mentally rich upstairs, you can make a little problem a big problem, but if you can mentally strong you can make a big problem little the way you handle it.

Finance:

One of the best ways to study a human being is to see how he or she spend his or her money. Just like you can use time to decipher the interest of someone, in same way, you can use money to know what someone likes. The true test of financial maturity is being able to control your appetite and buying only what you need as opposed to what you want. If you don’t take care of your finance it will control you like a slave. No one is responsible for your money or lack of it. No one can make you broke if you don’t give them permission. Have you ever wondered why some people are able to build wealth from humble beginnings, while others remain stuck in the same place despite having better incomes? To build wealth from your current income, you might need to spend money on a strict budget.

Professional work:

To succeed in work, you must be ahead of your game. If you need a promotion, you must be proactive and detailed. No one is responsible for your performance or lack of it. So long as you believe your boss is against you, you’ll never grow in your career. You’ll grow in your career when you realize you’re responsible for your professional growth. You’ll never be fired from any job when you know you’re responsible for keeping your job.

You Start Achieving Your Goals

This is one of the greatest benefits of taking responsibility for your life. Here’s the thing about success – it is never accidental. If you want to become a star athlete, you have to sacrifice your morning sleep so that you can train more. If you want to build a successful business, you have to sacrifice the weekly night out with your group of friends so that you can work on your business.

Quit the blame game

One of the hallmarks of someone who has not taken full responsibility of their life is the propensity to blame others for everything wrong in their life. Whatever kind of life you want to live, not one will give it to you or take it away from you.

Stop Complaining

Just like finding someone to blame, complaining about your situation or circumstances puts you in the position of a victim who has no control over their life. The reality is that the world is not an ideal place, and therefore, things will not always go your way. If things don’t go as expected, or if something happens to put you in a position of disadvantage, instead of complaining about the situation, focus on what you can learn from the situation and think of what you can do to get in order to get yourself from the situation.

Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.

To take responsibility for your life is to take responsibility for your powers of thinking, feeling, speaking, and acting, because this is the structure of all human experience. You create your life with your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. You take responsibility when you accept that the thoughts you have, are your thoughts coming from your mind. How you feel happens in your body and is a result of your thoughts. The words you speak come from your mouth and voice. The actions you take, are taken by you.

What this means is that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do anything. Nobody can push your buttons, because you are the button maker!

Make yourself happy

Taking responsibility for your happiness is liberating. Firstly, to realize that happiness does not come from outside of you. It is not the job of your partner, parent, friend, child, to make you happy.

To be happy is a decision and the gateway to happiness is gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal and you will find lots to be happy about. Also, do things that make you feel happy. Listen to your favorite music, surround yourself with beauty, express your creativity, do acts of kindness, etc. According to Miya Yamanouchi, “Don’t let society fool you into believing that if you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend then you’re destined for a life of misery. The Dalai Lama has been single for the last 80 years and he is one of the happiest people on earth. Stop searching for happiness in places outside of yourself and start finding it where it has always been: within you.”

Live in the present moment

Life is now. There is only one moment, now. The past is history, the future is a mystery, so there is only now, this moment. Take responsibility for this moment and make the best of it to redeem the past and create the future you want.

It’s easier to blame your partner. It’s easier to blame your boss. It’s easier to blame a father who was never there for you. It’s easier to blame the economy. It’s easier to blame an errant boyfriend. It’s easier to blame a controlling woman. It’s easier to blame a misfortune in your past. While losers blame others, winners take responsibility for their lives.

Therefore, the first step to taking control over your life is to quit the blame game and acknowledge that everything boils down to you. Once you do this, several positive things will happen in your life.

You will start achieving more of your goals, your health and finances will improve, you will enjoy better relationships with others, you will become more courageous, your decision-making will improve, and your life, in general, will become better.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Exuding the Aura of Confidence by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

Resolve to communicate your confidence to others. After all, the source for this confidence is the divine – Dr. Yomi Garnett.

Confidence is a currency many people don’t literally know. It is attractive, magnetic, compelling and magical. Confidence revolves around knowing who you are; the traits that make you special; the value you provide, and the ability to convey the positive you to others.

Confidence is all about the aura one exudes when they enter a room. Several things, it is worthy of note, give people confidence, and they include money, knowledge, value, connection, influence, skill and even spiritual ability. When there’s confidence, boasting and too much are set aside just as distraction occasioned by the noise outside is rendered impotent.

Self confidence is an offshoot of the overall confidence. While it is a self generated ability to be yourself irrespective of negative signals, it is also a fundamental aspect of our lives that plays a significant role in shaping our actions, decisions, and overall well-being. Self-confidence, as well, is not a fixed trait that some people are born with. It is also generally an acquired trait.

There are several ways to attract confidence, and the first step is knowing yourself. When you know yourself, you will know your strength, weakness, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you.  It’s said that many people don’t know themselves; they just accept life challenges as victims, not knowing that if they had been diligent in focusing on what really matters, they would have done much better. These sets of people are merely existing as opposed to living.

Another way to attract confidence is by being knowledgeable in a subject matter. When you are knowledgeable about a particular field of life, you’ll be highly respected, revered and sought after. You can tell that someone has confidence based on how they speak, their carriage, poise, and how they dress.

When we have confidence in ourselves, we will be more willing to take risks, step outside of our comfort zones, and embrace new opportunities.

With self-confidence, we will become fully aware of our environment, ourselves and become more resilient in the face of adversity. Confidence makes us better equipped to handle setbacks and failures, as this will make us see them as stepping stones to success rather than insurmountable barriers. This resilience enables us to bounce back from challenges and continue moving forward, undeterred by temporary setbacks.

In the academic space, confidence comes with preparation. The lack of preparation for something can make one vulnerable. When you have confidence, you will have a class of your own.

Confidence can come in two ways. It can be internal or external. When it’s internal, one is self inspired and doesn’t need external influence to radiate. External influence can be because of music, human beings, money etc. They determine how resourceful one can be.

External confidence is the image we portray before others and that includes our facial expression, body posture, movements, and stillness. Internal confidence is more powerful than external influence because it doesn’t need any extra factor to operate, but when your confidence is external, it can be manipulated because other variables can determine its influence. It’s better therefore, to have internal confidence than external confidence because internal confidence is self-inspired.

Our external and internal worlds are interconnected. When we feel very strong inside, it makes us feel relaxed outside. And when we are physically comfortable, it also leads to happiness mentally. This is why our external demeanor and comportment can also influence our internal sense of confidence.

The blessings of confidence are priceless. One needs confidence to approach the right people. In whatever positive act a progressive mind engages in life, they must have confidence to strategically execute the task. Whether you are a student, entrepreneur, parent, pastor, teacher, entertainer, athlete, soccer player, and more, one must exhibit a certain level of confidence if one is desiring to make an impact. This also involves risk taking.

Even if a man wants to woo a lady, he must have confidence to approach the lady and speak the right words. Confidence is a skill of the 21st century. In my calculated opinion, confidence is the bedrock and foundation of all social skills because without confidence, one might not have the courage to write, speak or even articulate his thoughts in a convincing manner.

Confidence works with the mind. Our mindset plays a significant role in cultivating self-confidence. For instance, a growth mindset, which is the belief that our abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, is essential for building confidence.

Perception also works with the mindset. How we perceive ourselves has a direct impact on our confidence levels. If we perceive ourselves as capable and competent, we are more likely to have higher self-confidence. On the other hand, negative self-perception can hinder our confidence.

To improve your confidence level, one must practice self affirmative positive talks, visualize his future and begin to work on the vision. One can also engage in physical exercise to boost both their physique and fitness, not forgetting the art of continuous learning, which helps to boost confidence. Note as well that surrounding yourself with a strong support system is very critical to enhancing your confidence. You can do this by seeking out relationships and communities that uplift and inspire you.

In conclusion, self-confidence is very attractive and contagious because it reflects a deep sense of peace, sureness, and stability. To cultivate self confidence, be mindful of external expressions such as the people you associate with, body language and environment, while also developing your inner virtues such as peace, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, patience, and gratitude.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: You Attract What You Like by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

“Your energy is in your currency. You attract what you are.”

We are all familiar with the saying, your network determines your networth. This is a fact because we attract what we give out. If one gives out love, they will receive love; if one dishes out negative energy and hatred, they are bound to receive negative energy and hatred. Life is literally a computer – garbage in, garbage out. Unfortunately, most people, who want to receive are not willing to give.

Moral: It is the energy and vibe we put out there that the universe gives us in return.

It should be noted that no one gives what they don’t have. If anyone wants to receive money, let him learn to give. Giving does not only entail giving money, but you can also give your time; you can share your food or gift, and assist people and volunteers. All these acts are channels of receiving.

One of the best ways of attracting people into your life is by being intentional and deliberate in what you do, and how you do them. Anybody that wants to be in your life, has a reason. For instance, if you share information about politics, health, academics, empowerment, religion, entertainment among others on social media, the people who love such information will be drawn to you.

Generally, nobody will associate with you just because you are a person; there must be a reason they like you, and want to be associated with you. If they don’t see value or prospects in you, they won’t associate with you. It’s just human nature.

Anybody in your life is there for a reason, and that explains why it’s advisable to be authentic in what you share both on social media and in real life. Whatever you share must reflect what you represent. So, when you fake your true personality, the real people who are suppose to assist or associate with you will be totally detached from you, leaving enough room for fake people, who are supposed to be far from you, to gain access. It is important to note that the algorithm on social media has been customized in such a way that it is what you like and comment on that the algorithm will bring to your attention.

Even with human relationships, one must be intentional on how they engage with people. Isn’t it true therefore that like attracts like. If you like soccer, music, education or fashion, it’s natural that people involved in similar professions will be attracted to your life.

To attract what you really want therefore, you must work or associate with people you like or aspire to be like. For instance, if you want to achieve your goals, then you must think, act and feel like a person who achieves your goals, and this can only work if you have the right mindset and attitude to life.

Again, to attract the right things into your life, one must practice the law of attraction, which basically means your feelings, thoughts and mindset must be in alignment. The impact of our thoughts and feelings has been the reason most people act the way they do. Positive thoughts and feelings attract positive experiences, while negative thoughts and feelings attract negative experiences.

Affirmation helps to attract blessings and opportunities. However, most people don’t know or understand the power of affirmation and how it works. The theory is very simple: if you think you are beautiful, you are beautiful, if you think you can do a particular thing, you can do it. On the other hand, if you think you can’t do it, you won’t be able to do it. It’s what you believe that will come to you.

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to help you achieve your goals. They can help you build your self-esteem, in addition to staying motivated in life. Affirmations work like magic. Just say it and believe in it. It will work out for you. If you wish to achieve any goal that is proving difficult, say to yourself, ‘I can achieve success; I will achieve my goals, I will l achieve success’. If you are lacking anything or need something, say, ‘I attract success and abundance into my life’. Affirmations are spiritual powers.

Affirmations work with the spiritual faith. If you believe in a god, deity, idol or inanimate object, they will work for you; if you believe in pills, ministers of God, herbal drinks – they will also work for you. Your belief factor is critical to your success in life.

Affirmations work with the mindset. There was a story about an old woman, who was sick. His son, who is a medical doctor, advised her to take a pill, she refused and requested an injection, but her son advised otherwise saying, a pill will work well for her. The woman said she sees people who normally come to the clinic, and he gives injections and they get better. All efforts to make her take the pill failed.

The son observed that his mother’s health was not getting any better, and he decided to insert water into the syringe and inject his mother. Guess what, in three days time, his mother became hale and hearty.

The moral of this story is that your belief factor is powerful. It’s what we believe that works for us. According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, “resolve to think about the best thoughts, work for them and expect the best results. Again, it is what you believe that will work for you.

In conclusion, your thoughts and mindset are powerful tools in attracting what you like. This is because everything you attract on the outside is a reflection of who you are on the inside.

The question one needs to ask himself therefore, is, what energy am I putting out there?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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Adding Value

Adding Value: Being a Blessing is Good Business by Henry Ukazu

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Dear Destiny Friends,

It is universally believed that the joy of life does not consist of how happy one is, but how happy others can be because of them.

We live in a society where empathy, genuine love, patience, selfless service, and kindness are lacking. This is simply because most of us have lost our human nature, and as such completely drained of human conscience. We fail to understand that we are blessed to be a blessing to others.

It’s instructive to note that circumstances don’t say who you, they reveal who you are. One of the many ways to identify a real human being is to observe how they spend their time, money, and resources. When you become a blessing, you will use all you have in your possession to bless others. As a mentor, supervisor, manager, parent, employer, teacher or professor, you can counsel the younger generation. This is a clarion call for everyone to please use their position to help those who are beneath your capacity.

The highest form of blessing however, is to show appreciation to your creator, and this is done by blessing other people with your gift and talent. According to Hans Urs von Balthasar, “what you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.” You need to continually ask yourself, what will I do to be a blessing to others?

It is sad to see people who didn’t really believe they will receive fortune and opportunities in life acting like god when they become blessed. They forget their humble beginnings.

Being a blessing to others comes in different ways. You can be a blessing with your service, gift, time, words, resources, and many more. The world is in dire need of kind and selfless people who are authentic in their deeds as opposed to people who are good because of the favours and opportunities they will receive.

Did you know your destiny is tied to many people? This is because when you become a success, many people will begin to identify with you. This is why it is imperative for you to succeed. So anytime you feels like giving up, remember and consider the people who are depending on you.

Doing good is a habit that is not prevalent in contemporary times due to prevailing wickedness in today’s world. In fact, good people are not celebrated in our society. They tend to receive backlash because they are not following the bandwagon. We literally live in a wicked generation!

According to Dr. Yomi Garnett, a celebrated ghost writer, “Do all the good you can by all means you can, in all ways you can, in every place you can, at all times you can, to everyone you can, as long as you can. Count that day lost in which you have not done something good for another person.”

Doing good is not limited to giving someone money. Only myopic see financial assistance as the only means of doing good. We need to kick against the idea of using financial assistance to judge if someone is good or not. Did you know that there are things money cannot buy. For instance, there are people, who can give you loyalty, time, honesty, value among others, which are literally more than money. It’s only ignorant and myopic minds that appreciate money more than loyalty. Note that if the only thing you have is money, you are poor.

The good thing about doing good is that it comes back to you in ways and manners you cannot understand. Whether you are at work, at home, school or public space, show people love and kindness, in any little way you can.

According to a former American President, Benjamin Franklin, whenever you are in a public space, “be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one”.

Moral: Being good costs less unlike being bad which takes a lot of negative energy.

It should be noted as well that you don’t need to have a lot to share with people or act to be good. Just be good because it is good to be good. Most people are good because of a condition or situation that has happened to them. But that shouldn’t be the case. According to Chidimma Kalu, “Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are.”

There are many blessings that come to one when one becomes a blessing to others. Isn’t it true that givers never lack, and the giver’s hand always remain on top while the receiver’s hand is always below.

There’s a certain kind of joy that comes to one when one decides to show love and favour on someone else. On a personal note, whenever I give, there’s a kind of joy and feeling that always comes to my spirit. In most cases, I feel fulfilled.

Do you know it is a privilege and honour to bless others? When God gives you an opportunity to bless others, please grab it. It’s not right when you detach yourself from blessing others. Always remember what goes around comes around.

Whenever you see yourself in a position to help others, no matter how little it is, please judiciously cease the opportunity. By doing so, you are accumulating more blessings to yourself. But, when you fail to do the needful, the creator of heaven and earth can take you off the position and replace you with another person.

In conclusion, being a blessing to others is a privilege one must be grateful for. It is an opportunity to serve.

So, the question to ask yourself is, how can I be a blessing to someone today?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny and Unleash Your Destiny.  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com

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