Opinion: The Secret Of Listening

Published

5 years ago

March 29, 2019

Editor

By Henry Ukazu

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” –

Stephen R. Covey

Greetings Friends,

Today’s article will take a different route because it will be structured to empower any rational mind to

think out of the box. One of the greatest force in life is love. There’s an imaginary strength that comes

when we truly love. If you have truly loved, you’ll agree with me that you’ll truly listen to what your

other partner, friend, family have to say even how they feel. I once read a book by Gary Chapman “The

five love language Love language” where the author beautifully wrote about the five love languages

(Words affirmation, physical touch, gift, services and time). When you truly care, you’ll apply all this

love languages to your partner, friend, work or whatever you are doing. I choose to use love to buttress

the important of listening because in whatever you do in life, if you don’t love, you wont give in your

time to it and listening is one of the components of loving .

There are so many things we are stand to gain when we listen to people. One of the greatest things you

can do for anyone is to listen to them. It should be noted that listening comes with respect. Whether you

are in the cooperate world, self employed (entrepreneur), Non Government Cooperation or even in the

faith based organization, you are bound to listen to your audience because that is the best way to

communicate with them while serving them.

Listening is a choice, you decide to listen to what you like. It is really hard sitting or even standing up

listening to people you don’t value. When you listen to podcast or programs of interest, you select music,

talks or even comedy of interest that appeals to you. In this digital age, experience has taught me to pay

attention to what we truly matters to me. In fact, unless I am sacrificing my time for a worthy cause, if it’s

not taking me to the next level and if it doesn’t involve money, it doesn’t worth my time.

In any industry you are in, you need to practice good listening skills. Are you seeking for a job, or are you

currently working, you need a good listening skill to succeed in a job environment. With this skill, you

can navigate the politics of the job environment. Even a leader needs this skill the most. I have always

opine that one of the great art of a leader is the ability to learn. This is because you get more ideas when

you listen to your followers. Listening gives you ability to hear (feedback) what others feel about your

work. According to Bill Gates “your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning”.

During the course of this article, we shall be discussing the different styles of listening and how we can

use effective listening to enhance our business or opportunity of interest.

1. Practice active listening: The most important thing you can give to a public speaker is your

ears. When you listen to someone you are not only giving the person your time, you are also

learning more about the person. There’s a saying you can learn more about a person by he what

he/she does than what he/she says. Practicing active listening to is a very good way to learn and

be engaged. In communication, what is important is not what is being said, but what is not being said, therein, lies the message. When you practice active listening you hear the unspoken

language from the other person in addition to being engaged. According to G.K. Chesterton

“there’s a lot of difference between hearing and listening.” This is because hearing isn’t

necessarily listening, nor is it necessarily listening well. This is because you can hear someone

but not present at the same time. Active listening makes you to be present. You may have heard

of the saying, the joy of life is not happy you are, but how happy someone can because of you.

Everyone loves to be listened and loved. In my book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your

Birthright To Success, specifically on page 111, I wrote about the four levels of gratitude

(Appreciation, administration, approval and attention). In order to understand this teachings you

must practice active listening to understand the unspoken words inherent in such deeds.

2. Eye Contact: A great communicator uses eye contact to deliver his/her message. One of the most

valuable ways a public speaker uses to communicate with his/she audience is by using eye

contact. With eye contact, you can tell if your audience is listening or feeling bored. Sometimes

you hear what the person is saying when you look directly in the eyes of the person, sometimes,

maintaining a visible presence by looking over the head audience gives them the desired space

they need. This is because some people don’t feel comfortable when they have direct eye contact.

Eye contact also goes with the body language of the speaker. In communication, sometimes,

somethings are better felt than spoken.

3. Don’t interrupt the speaker: A good way to know a great speaker is by looking how he/she

pitches his/point or message. Interrupting a speaker can ruin the flow of information. That is why

sometimes, it is good to reserve the questions towards the end of any presentation.

4. Listen without judgment: –: In communication, most times, people listen with the intent to

respond as opposed to understanding. This normally plays out most times in marriage. In law, a

good to way to apply justice is by listening to the other side. In applying this knowledge, the

judge normally use Audi alteram partem, a Latin phrase meaning “listen to the other side”, or “let

the other side be heard as well”. It is the principle that no person should be judged without a fair

hearing in which each party is given the opportunity to respond to the evidence against them.

5. Meditation: Mediation is a form of listening. According to Thomas Carlyle, “Silence is the

element in which great things fashion themselves together”. Meditation is truly a great form of

listening. According to Wayne Dyer, an inspirational author, meditation is simply the act of being

quiet with yourself and shutting the constant monologue that fills the inner space. Meditation

helps in self discovering. You learn more about yourself when you listen to your inner self as

opposed to what other people think of you. There are many benefits that comes with meditation.

Examples include, it reduces stress, helps you to focus very well, it reduces anxiety, and it gives

you better memory and enhances creativity.

In conclusion, a good listening skill if properly utilized will set you on a good path that will set you

before leaders, kings and Heads of Industries if properly applied.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with New York City Department of Correction as the

legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your

Birthright To Success.

Bribery, Corruption: APC Suspends National Chairman, Ganduje

Published

1 day ago

April 15, 2024

Eric

The All Progressives Congress ward in Ganduje, Dawakin Tofa Local Government Area, has suspended the party’s National Chairman, Dr. Abdullahi Ganduje.

The party ward legal adviser, Halliru Gwanzo, announced the suspension while addressing newsmen in Kano State on Monday.

Gwanzo cited allegations of bribery against Ganduje levelled by the Kano State Government as the reason for the suspension.

“We decided to suspend Dr. Abdullahi Ganduje from the party due to the seriousness of the allegations against him,” Gwanzo said.

Meanwhile, efforts to contact the Chief Press Secretary to the APC National Chairman, Mr Edwin Olufo, failed as his mobile phone was unreachable.

Akpabio Commits to Collaboration with Tinubu, Governor Umo Eno

Published

5 days ago

April 12, 2024

Admin

The President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio, has stated his commitment to working closely with Nigeria’s President, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, and Governor Umo Eno to ensure the delivery of democratic benefits to the people of Akwa Ibom State.

Akpabio stated this in his country home, Ukana, Essien Udim Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom, while briefing his constituents on the journey so far as their representative in the red chamber.

He assured the people of Akwa Ibom North West Senatorial District of his commitment to their welfare in appreciation of their total support for him, President Bola Tinubu and the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) in last year’s election.

The Highpoint of the constituency briefing was the distribution of over 10,000 bags of rice and other essentials for his constituents from the wards, to the local governments.

A statement by his Special Assistant on Media, Jackson Udom, quoted Akpabio as saying, “I am here once again, to thank you for standing by me, our President and the party, before, during and even after last year’s elections. I have come to say thank you and also bring Renewed Hope to you all.

“As the President is doing his own, the Senate President is also doing his bit and being complemented by the state governor, Akwa Ibom would be the better for it. We have finished elections and politics, we are now into governance. The governor of the state must touch you, because he is the governor of all the people in the state irrespective of political affiliation.

” As I am touching you now from the political angle, I will also touch the state without any political party affiliation. Most of the projects we are putting in place would be used by people resident in the state. Relax, things are getting better.”

The former Governor of the state, assured his constituents that his current position as the Senate President would be used for the development of the state in collaboration with the President and the Akwa Ibom State Governor.

Hear him: This Senate President is not the one that would be fighting the state government. I will collaborate with , I will collaborate with , to make the state better for us all. We cannot be out of government for a long time. You have to go to a government that carries you along”

Akpabio promised to work for his constituents and Nigeria with all his strength, noting that, “as the President of the Senate, I am for the Southern region and the entire country. I may not come here regularly to tell you what I have been doing for you, but you will be feeling the impact on way or the other. Our unemployed youths would be gainfully employed. I will construct a mini stadium in all the local governments in the district, for our youths to develop their sporting potentials. ”

Headline

Akwa Ibom Government Invests N112 Billion in Road Infrastructure Projects

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2024

Admin

…DAKKADA OIL PALM FACTORY COMMENCES MILLING SOON

“Since May 2023, Akwa Ibom State Government Invests N112 Billion in Road Infrastructure”

Commissioner for Works and Fire Service, Prof. Eno Ibanga disclosed this when he presented a breakdown at the State Executive Council meeting in Uyo.

He revealed that 39 new road projects have been undertaken with N78.77 billion released to fund them, while old projects have been funded to the tune of over N30 Billion, with an additional N12 Billion recently released by the Governor.

Details of the Exco meeting were made public by the Commissioner for Information, Ini Ememobong.

The Executive Council also approved the increment of pension for pensioners who retired before 2012, effective April 2024.

Following the ongoing harvesting of fruits, milling will soon commence at the Dakkada Global Oil Palms.

The Managing Director of the Akwa Ibom Investment Corporation, Pastor Imoabasi Jacob announced this during his presentation at the State Executive Council meeting presided over by Governor Umo Eno.

Two projects executed through the Direct Labour Agency have been completed with 19 other ones ongoing.

The Director of Operations of the Agency, presented a status update on the projects under their supervision, also disclosed that 31 of the 100 initial ARISE Compassionate Homes will be completed and presented soon.

The Council was also briefed on the progress at Ibom LED, where 800 people have been trained and N400m has been approved to fund the grant of N500,000 to each of the participants, which will soon be done.

The Governor charged all the Executive Council members to ensure that all the projects and programmes under their supervision are people-centric from ideation to execution. He advised that project monitoring should be ramped up to ensure quick completion.

Major Highlights of the meeting are as follows:

√Status update on Food sufficiency received; proposal on increased cocoa, rice production & Ibom Model Farm submitted by HC for Agriculture & Rural Development

√Presentation of proposal by MD, AKICORP on Ibom Towers, FalconNext, Landmark Beach Resort.

√Dakkada Global Oil Palms Ltd ready to commence milling of ongoing harvested fruits

√Confirmation of N400m disbursed at N500,000 each to 800 IBOM-LED trainees in two batches

√Briefing by HC Works & Fire Service on N112 billion disbursed by the Governor for road infrastructure since May 2023, with 39 new road projects receiving N78.77 billion & N30 Billion for old projects, with additional release of N12 Billion

√Presentation by HC Culture & Tourism on tourism blueprint for proposed development of Tourism hubs at Ikot Abasi, Itu, and Oron

√ Two projects ready, 19 ongoing through Direct Labour Agency on 1 Project per Local Government Area; 31 ARISE Compassionate Homes nearly completed

√Approval for increment of pension for pensioners who retired before 2012, effective April 2024.