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Lavishing Money on Your Kids not Best Way to Show Love – Dele Momodu

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Media professional and a one-time presidential candidate, Chief Dele Momodu, talks about what fatherhood has taught him with TOPE OMOGBOLAGUN     

What does fatherhood mean to you?

Fatherhood is everything in one. A father is like a pillar in a family and a mother is a foundation because the mother carries the baby in her womb for nine months but after the foundation, there must be pillars to a house. The role of a father is that of pillars, the pillars hold everything else and balance them properly. If you remove the pillars, usually, the building will collapse. The mother is the foundation and the father is the foundation you continue to build on.

The father is permanently kept on his toes. When there is a need for anything, they run to the father of the house and when you are not able to perform that role, you are no longer a father in most cases. That is why you see some fathers work harder than necessary. The children sometimes cannot understand why you are not always at home with them; it is because you always want to continue being a father.  Any father, who wants to continue being a father, cannot rest properly. Your mind, body and soul cannot be at rest easily and you must still ensure that you give direct guidance to your children.

What do you enjoy the most about being a father?

I know the pain people go through when they don’t have children. That is the more reason why I appreciate what God has done in my life. I have four big boys who are amazing and very wonderful. I am ‘overblessed’ by Almighty God. I see being called a father as a blessing because it’s God’s undeserved kindness.

Did you ever wish you had a daughter?

I am sure we wanted girls. I would have still been fine if I had only girls. I am too cosmopolitan to worry about whether my children are girls or boys. The most important thing is to have wonderful kids and we are blessed in that aspect. From my first to the last son, they know that there are no billionaires in the family; we are all scholars. If my children want anything from me, they negotiate via education. My biggest investment in life is educating my children by sending them to the best schools anywhere I can find it.

My wife as the foundation has practically sacrificed her life for the children. She is a chartered accountant. She read accounting, earned ACCA and ICAN and yet, she is a full-time mother to five boys because I am her first son.

What were your fears before you became a father?

The Momodus

Of course, the fear of every man after marriage is if the children do not come on time, how do I cope with the pressure?  Like in my case, it took us two years before we had our first child. We got married in 1992 and we had our first child in 1994. There was a bit of panic because people are definitely going to put you under pressure and there is even more pressure when you are famous because all eyes are on you. We had one of the most glamorous weddings in 1992. We were even rated by a newspaper firm as one of the top three weddings in Nigeria then. You can imagine the pressure. Everybody who sees your wife looks at her tummy. Along the line, such begins to get to you.

How did you feel when you eventually held your first child?

All my children are born in the same hospital in London. Unfortunately, when my first child was to be born, I could not travel because I was already in trouble over the June 12 crisis and the late Sani Abacha had already taken over. I couldn’t leave the country. We didn’t have telephones in those days like now.

My wife was already in London attending her pre-natal checks at the hospital. But I knew one of Abiola’s wives who was close to me and had a phone in her house, Dr. Doyinsola Abiola. I used to go to her every day to check if I had a message from my wife. My wife would call to tell her the next time she would call. I waited to be able to talk to her. Dr. Abiola was the first to know about the birth of my first son and she broke the news to me.  Of course, I was very excited like every other father would on hearing that his wife had given birth.

How old were you when you became a father?

I was 34 in 1994 when I had my first child.

Do you think you married a bit late?

No. I got married at 32 and had my first child at 34. People felt I was getting late but for me, it didn’t matter. It is the women that worry about such. Once a woman crosses 25; in fact, once she finishes university education; the next certificate they are expecting is a baby. Even now, I am 58, I still feel like a young man, though I know I am old.

What are the values you learnt from your father?

I learnt hard work from my biological father and even from my adopted father, the late MKO Abiola. He used to tell us that hard work is prayer in action. My biological father was a workaholic. He worked till the last minute he died. My father’s death taught me to cherish and treasure every moment we spend with people especially our family members. I left my father to go to school in the morning and came back in the evening to find out that he was dead. I was 13 when he died in 1973. His death taught me that every day is precious. I was very close to my father. My father was a very spiritual man. He belonged to the Aladura sect and he didn’t allow women into his bedroom. I was the only boy at home at the time. My elder brother had travelled abroad then.

I slept on the same bed with my father for years. When he died, I was almost hallucinating then because he was everything to me. Nowadays, kids are free, more independent. I always tell my children that they must treasure all the time they spend with me. You won’t know now until I leave this world and the reality is that we will all leave this world.

Having learnt that from my father, I also teach my children to know the value of hard work. I want each of my children to have a PhD. I don’t know if they will all agree but at least, they must have a minimum of master’s degree. I invest a lot in books and education.

How do you inculcate the values you imbibed from your father in your children?

I do that through discussion; it’s not something one can force. I always tell them if we are talking. For example, if they stand to greet me, I tell them to prostrate. I never greeted my father like that. Or if they tell me okay without adding sir or dad to it, I tell them to correct themselves because I never spoke to my father like that. If I send them on an errand and they say things like oh! I am busy, I never said no to my father. You mustn’t say no to me. I always refer to my father as a way of training them that I will not be who I am if I did not obey my father’s instructions.

They need to know that is a chain of reaction, it has a domino effect. My grandfather disciplined my father, my father disciplined me and I must discipline my children, so that they can also discipline their children too.

How do you discipline your children?

They always say that I don’t beat them. I am a bit modern despite my traditional background. I am a democrat. I will say I am a compulsive democrat. I like to do things in a very democratic manner. I like persuasion; I don’t like the use of force. I believe there is nothing force can get that persuasion cannot get. I try to talk to them. If they take it, it’s for their own benefit.

Who is stricter between you and your wife?

My wife is the strict one; she is strict on all of us, including me. She is strict and very prudent while she believes I am very flamboyant. Although I think that is as a result of my closeness to the late Abiola; I served under his tutelage. I got the act of being a kind person from him. I give a lot as long as I know that a person is in need which sometimes could be very problematic. My wife is a chartered accountant from Ijebu, so she is very good at managing money.

How do you celebrate your children when they do well in their studies?

That is one way they get to win me whenever they need anything. For instance, my last son has been calling me that he needs an Apple laptop which is a bit expensive.

He got good grades and was admitted into one of the best schools in England which happens to be his dream school because his brothers also attended the school. For me, I just have to look for the money and buy him the laptop because we had a deal. If I am going to have a bet with them, it has to be about their academics. I tell them, if you get a particular number of distinctions, this is what you will get. If you are admitted into the school, I will give you that. When they keep their part of the agreement, I also endeavour to keep mine.

How do you teach them to value money?

I am very lucky in that aspect with my children maybe because their mother is very frugal and it has rubbed off on them. They will never ask for exorbitant money, except if they need to get a new phone or a laptop. If I give £50 to them, they will manage it well and if I give them £200, they are very grateful.  I know children of big people who will ask their parents for £5,000. Such has never happened in my family. I can’t remember any of them even asking £1,000 from me. It is not possible.

Some parents use money to indulge their kids because they are not usually physically around. They believe they can buy the love. You can’t buy love. Giving a child all the money in the world does not mean the child would be happy. In fact, he might be more miserable and become depressed because if you are on drugs, you get depressed. That is one of the issues I will love to talk about if I get the chance. I would love to tell parents that lavishing money on their children is not the best way to show love. A lot of kids know how much their fathers have in their accounts. Some will go to their parents and ask “are we rich?” If any of my children should ask me such, I will tell him flatly, ‘no’ and that is the truth. I don’t have free money.

It is said that male children often bond more with their mothers than their fathers. Do you have the same experience with your four boys?

It is true, but in our case, because they are all males, they have no choice but to also deal with me and because their mother is tough; she doesn’t take nonsense from anybody. I think I will say that about two or three of them are very close to her; they would listen more to her than even to me. You know that someone, who will not beat you or shout at you, you are not likely to be afraid of that person. It is a natural psychological feeling. They are forced to bond with me; that is the way I see it.

Do they discuss their relationships with you?

No, not really because they have been in school most of the time and I have been in Nigeria. The person who can know more about that is their mother because she stays more in England with them. She can know who their friends are. I get to meet some of my first son’s friends once in a while. My second child is an easy-going person. All he does is football and he doesn’t really go out. And because they are four boys, I think they tend to be their own friends. They have formed their own inner circle. They are each other’s friends. If I want to know what is happening to the first one, the last one is like his son.

In fact, I call him daddy. I said that is your son. I’m like a grandpa because there is a gap of 10 years between them. If I want to know what is happening to the first, I call the last born and that one will tell me everything.

Why is there much age difference between the first and last child?

We had the first in 1994. The second child came in 1996, the third in 1997 and the last child in 2004. My wife would always say it was an error but I know it was planned because she was still trying for a girl.

Is any of your children following in your career path?

Yes, my third child, Eniafe Momodu. He loves literature like me. He is already a writer, a speaker, a photographer and also owns a blog.

Culled from The Punch

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Okuama Massacre: Military Declares Eight Persons Wanted

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The Defence Headquarters has declared eight persons wanted over their roles in the recent killing of 17 military personnel in Delta State.

The military released the list on Thursday at a briefing in Abuja.

Those declared wanted are Prof. Ekpekpo Arthur, Andaowei Dennis Bakriri, Akevwru Daniel Omotegbo (Aka Amagben), Akata Malawa David, Sinclear Oliki, Clement Ikolo Oghenerukeywe, Reuben Baru, and Igoli Ebi.

During the briefing, the Director, Defence Media Operations, Major General Edward Buba, called on Nigerians especially residents of Delta and adjoining states to assist the military with credible information that would lead to the arrest of eight persons allegedly responsible for the killing of seventeen soldiers in Okuama community in Delta State.

General Buba says the military remains determined to fish out the perpetrators of the heinous act in Delta State, reaffirming its commitment to rescue all kidnapped and abducted victims in Nigeria.

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How CJMR Has Championed Restoration of Justice to Unjustly Incarcerated, Condemned – Founder, Olujobi

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By Eric Elezuo

“At CJMR, we stand firm on our scriptural foundation: ‘Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice…,” Pastor Olujobi 

Most citizens of the world are endowed with milk of human kindness, and are ever ready to lend a helping hand to folks in need, either for cash or kind. One of these citizens is a Nigerian of special breed, filled with compassion and zeal to assist wrongfully detained persons to regain their freedom. He is Mr. Hezekiah Olujobi, who is leading the fight against wrongful detention and elongated detention without trial with his Non-Governmental Organization, the Centre for Justice, Mercy and Reconciliation (CJMR).

The CJMR as stated, is NGO dedicated to promoting human rights and advocacy within the Nigeria Correctional Service and strengthening the rule of law in Nigeria Criminal Justice System, according to the Founder, Mr. Olujobi.

“Our area of focus are Advocacy, Alternative Dispute Resolution, Investigation, Cases review, Rehabilitation of individual upon freedom and Restorative Justice in Criminal Matter,” he added.

The CJMR as an organization, was established in 1999, and was officially registered in 2009. It has since then accumulated an enviable and proven track record of facilitating the release of individuals from death row, some of whom had been unjustly incarcerated for 18 to 28 years.

“Additionally, over 600 inmates have been freed from illegal detention after 4 to 12 years without trial. The organization has also established a Halfway Home that has benefited over 300 individuals.

“Our activities cut across the Correctional service in South West: Oyo, Odun , Ogun and Lagos States. We still have over 100 cases for intervention including 10 people on death row whom we strongly believed they are victims of wrongful conviction,” Olujobi stressed.

Hezekiah Olujobi, also known as a Pastor, for his vocation as a preacher of the gospel, who is the founder of CJMR, is currently working on two books to project the work of the organization so far.

The first, “Their Stories Behind Bars,” is a collection of narratives from individuals wrongfully sentenced to death and how the organization helped secure their rrlease, while the second book, “Their Hurts and Unforgettable Memories,” delves into the stories of victims and offenders, exploring their deep hurts and the healing process through restorative justice.

The following stories below as told by Pastor Olujobi, carefully epitomizes how far the NGO has gone to put smiles on the faces of individuals, who have otherwise lost hope of ever living their lives among free people again

Olaniyi Emiola’s Wrongful Conviction: My Belief in His Innocence

Olaniyi Emiola was sentenced to death based on witness testimony that was a case of mistaken identity. The armed robber apprehended at the crime scene insisted he was not the person being referred to and claimed he did not know Emiola at all. However, one of the victims, who recognized Emiola by the name “Abija,” insisted that he was the culprit. Emiola was known in the streets as “Abija,” not “Niyi,” yet the robber mentioned a “Femi Niyi,” not “Abija.” The man in question is Olaniyi Emiola, not Femi Niyi. During the trial, it was claimed that the robber identified the house of their leader to them, who is known as Abija,

In this controversial case, the conclusion of judgment of my noble lord, Hon Justice Jimoh of the Tribunal Court, was as follows:

“It is our considered judgment that the discovery of the second accused in the house pointed out by the first accused to the prosecution, and the discovery of the stolen items in the house shown to the police by the first accused, are admissible and well taken. Referencing R. v. Garbett (1847) 2 C & K 474 and R. v. Treacy (1945) 30 CAR 93, with these authorities in view, the second accused has been properly identified and linked with the commission of the crime charged.

Since the prosecution has adduced sufficient evidence to place the second accused at the scene at the material time, his alibi defense is logically and physically demolished.

This was established by the Supreme Court in the cases of Patrick Njovens vs. The State (1973) 5 SC 17 at 65 and Christian Nwosisi v. The State (1976) 6 SC 109 at 112.

It is my considered judgment that since the defense of the second accused has failed and, by the acceptable evidence of the prosecution witnesses, the accused has fallen into the warm embrace of the law, and I so hold.

SENTENCE: OLANIYI EMIOLA – The sentence of the Tribunal upon you is that you be hanged by the neck until you are dead or suffer death by firing squad, as the Administrator of this State may direct. May the Lord have mercy on your soul.”

This was the judgment that sent a man to darkness and anguish, leaving him to await execution in a solitary cell for 11 years without the right to appeal, luckily for him, the abolition of execution was announced in Nigeria.

Reprieve came when we visited Kirikiri Maximum Security Prison in 2007. We investigated the matter by analyzing the entire judgment and all the contents of the case file. We took up his case, amplified his voice of innocence, and refuted all the arguments in light of the existing facts recorded in the judgement.

Olaniyi Emiola was finally set free in January 2011, after 17 years had been wrongfully taken from his life.

One can only imagine what would have happened if execution had not been abolished in Nigeria.

CJMR’s Advocacy visit to the Oyo State Attorney General

The organisation has also taken its advocacy to the Attorney General’s office in Oyo State, and achieved certain parameters as represented in the narrative below:

“On Wednesday, March 20, 2024, the Committee for Centre for Justice Mercy and Reconciliation (CJMR) conducted an advocacy visit to the office of the Oyo State Attorney General. The purpose of the visit was to highlight the plight of numerous inmates who have been denied justice and are enduring the prolonged anguish of indefinite trials for capital offenses.

The primary goal of the visit was to bring to the Attorney General’s attention specific cases of individuals who appear to have been wrongfully accused of capital offenses and have been languishing in detention since 2015 without legal advice. Additionally, there are those who have been repeatedly taken to the High Court since 2017 without the prosecution presenting a single witness.

In a recent development on March 18 and 19, 2024, the Oyo State Chief Judge, Honorable Justice Iyabo Yerima, visited the custodial centers in Ibadan and Oyo. She firmly resolved not to address any capital offense cases, maintaining her stance throughout the jail delivery exercise. Consequently, 32 inmates were released from Agodi and 38 from Oyo, totaling 70 releases from facilities that house 1,250 and 827 inmates, respectively. The data clearly indicates that a significant proportion of detainees charged with capital offenses remain unaddressed.

Pastor Olujobi further noted that “During the CJMR’s visit, seven recommendations were proposed to enhance the efficiency of justice delivery by the Attorney General’s office, and a list of 32 individuals awaiting legal advice was submitted.”

The Attorney General, known for his humility and activism, pledged to collaborate with the CJMR.

He further acknowledged that “It is a profound injustice for individuals, even those apprehended with substantial evidence, to be detained indefinitely, risking the degradation of evidence and waning interest or resolve of witnesses. The slow turn of the justice system’s wheels can erode its very foundation.

“Similarly, it is an injustice for an innocent person to endure punishment due to procedural delays or inefficiencies.

The presumption of innocence until proven guilty is a fundamental principle of democratic societies, yet it is undermined when the process to establish innocence is plagued by excessive delays. The time for change is now.

Olujobi is also of the view that “The judiciary must move beyond a confessionary-based approach to prison decongestion and focus on those unjustly detained for capital offenses.”

From Darkness to Light: The Unraveling of Injustice and the Triumph of Freedom for Olusola Adepetu after 26 years behind bar

In this scenario, the police conducted a comprehensive investigation, and the defense attorney performed admirably. However, despite these efforts, the judge appeared to succumb to public pressure, reminiscent of Pontius Pilate’s historical decision, resulting in Olusola Adepetu being wrongfully sentenced to death.

Tragically, this miscarriage of justice led to the loss of 26 years of Adepetu’s life.

The appellant, a native of Ondo state was 34 years old at the time of his arrest, a father of 4 children with a broken home.

He was the owner of Olusola Naturalist Hospital. He was a Guru in herbal traditional-medicine, very popular with radio and television advertisements.

He cures all manner of ailment, he was a highlife socialite, he was a member of special marshal of Federal Road Safety Commission, due to the nature of his work as herbal traditional medicine healer he was highly connected with people in high places who always patronized him and in the world ravaged with deceases people always throng his office to seek healing for their ailments.

He is not a medical doctor but always referred to as Doctor Olusola.

All of a sudden, the light of his fame and popularity went off, he was enveloped with thick darkness. For a good 26 years he never walks under the moon nor is beaten by rain.

What happened?

His girlfriend was murdered in a mysterious way, three days later, her dead body was recovered by the police at the Express way, Sanyo, Ibadan and deposited at mortuary in Adeoyo state Hospital. Who must have done this?

Nobody knows till today. The relations who were in the shop of the father of his girlfriend who saw him when he came to pick the deceased and the bar man who saw him the previous day with the deceased pointed touch light on him.

Upon his arrest, rumors went round the whole city like wildfire and consumed the heart of men, same Radio and Television stations where his advertisements were being jingled, announced his arrest, all kinds of rumors went round the city, his case became a celebrated case.

He was consumed by the public adverse opinion.

With all kinds of rumors, the death of the lady was attributed to ritual killing, some said he cut the breast of the lady, some said he cut her private part for the ritual purpose.

At every court adjournment the whole court room and the premises will always be filled up with people. The case attracted the public interest. Like Pontius Pilate, the judge has no choice than to deliver the innocent man as a sacrificial lamb not for the world but for his likely hidden sin.

Light shines on his path again, when we unravel the case file documents with the dissenting judgement and the man regains his freedom after 26 years.

The critical question is: Who will advocate for the poor and helpless? It is us;
The Chief Judge, Attorney General, Commissioner of Police, and all stakeholders must be involved. And this where CJMR comes in, and the organization are doing it.

“We therefore call for wholesome assistance from all and sundry to sustain the tempo, and help our people, who graciously need the assistance,” Olujobi concluded.

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Binance Executive Detained in Nigeria Escapes from Custody

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One of the two Binance executives detained in Nigeria for alleged tax evasion and other offences, Nadeem Anjarwalla, has escaped from lawful custody, according to PREMIUM TIMES report.

Our sources said Mr Anjarwalla, 38, escaped on Friday, 22 March, from the Abuja guest house where he and his colleague were detained after guards on duty led him to a nearby mosque for prayers in the spirit of the ongoing Ramadan fast.

The Briton, who also has Kenyan citizenship, is believed to have flown out of Abuja using a Middle East airliner.

It remains unclear how Mr Anjarwalla got on an international flight despite his British passport, with which he entered Nigeria, remaining in the custody of the Nigerian authorities.

Authorities are also said to be working to unravel his intended destination in a bid to get him back into custody.

An Immigration official said the Binance executive fled Nigeria on a Kenyan passport. He, however, said authorities were trying to determine how he obtained the passport, given that he had no other travel document (apart from the British passport) on him when he was taken into custody.

Another source said the two officials were held at a “comfortable guest house” and allowed many rights, including the use of telephones, a privilege Mr Anjarwalla is believed to have exploited to plot an escape.

When contacted Sunday night on the escape of the Binance executive from detention, the Head of Strategic Communication at the Office of the National Security Adviser, Zakari Mijinyawa, said he would enquire and revert. He has yet to do so as of the time of filing this report.

Mr Anjarwalla, Binance’s Africa regional manager, and Tigran Gambaryan, a US citizen overseeing financial crime compliance at the crypto exchange platform, were detained upon their arrival in Nigeria on 26 February 2024.

A criminal charge was filed against the two executives before a Magistrate Court in Abuja. On 28 February 2024, the court granted the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) an order to remand the duo for 14 days. The court also ordered Binance to provide the Nigerian government with the data/information of Nigerians trading on its platform.

Following Binance’s refusal to comply with the order, the court extended the remand of the officials for an additional 14 days to prevent them from tampering with evidence. The court then adjourned the case till 4 April 2024.

Also on 22 March, the Nigerian government approached the Federal High Court in Abuja and slammed another four-count charge on Binance Holdings Limited, Mr Anjarwalla and Mr Gambaryan, accusing them of offering services to subscribers on their platform while failing to register with the Federal Inland Revenue Service to pay all relevant taxes administered by the Service and in so doing, committed an offence, contrary to and punishable under Section 8 of the Value Added Tax Act of 1993 (as Amended).

The defendants were also accused of offering taxable services to subscribers on their trading platform while failing to issue invoices to those subscribers to determine and pay their value-added taxes and, in so doing, committed an offence contrary to and punishable under S.29 of the Value Added Tax Act of 1993 (as amended).

Count Three of the charges accused the three defendants of offering services to subscribers on their Binance trading platform for the buying and selling of cryptocurrencies and the remittance and transfer of those assets while failing to deduct the necessary Value Added Taxes arising from their operations and thereby committing an offence contrary to and punishable under Section 40 of the Federal Inland Revenue Service Establishment Act 2007 (as amended).

The last count of the charges wants the defendants punished for allegedly aiding and abetting subscribers on their Binance trading platform to unlawfully refuse to pay taxes or neglect to pay those taxes and, in so doing, committing an offence contrary to and punishable under the provisions of S.94 of the Companies Income Tax Act (as amended).

The Nigerian government had, in the past three months, been cracking down on suspected money launderers and terrorism financiers, some of whom it alleged are using the Binance platform for criminal activities

The Nigerian government said over $21.6 billion was traded by Nigerians whose identities were concealed by Binance.

Source: Premium Times

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